Alice in Lonely Land Ch. 04
It was exactly three Friday's since I'd last seen him. I felt like it had been too long and not long enough. The part of me that hurt knew that staying home was the best bet. While the side of me who hadn't received rides home from knights in shining armour, random unexpected gifts, or letters from mysterious men was lonely. So very, ridiculously lonely.
I didn't answer, me and my bottle and a half of wine just showed up at his door twenty minutes later. I'd given myself enough time to brush my hair, touch up my make up and put on another dress no other man had seen.
He didn't smile when he saw me, what I got was so much better. The look that burst to life in his grey eyes when he saw my flowy sapphire blue dress with it's satin slip and sheer fabric overlay, threatened to light me on fire. His breathing was carefully controlled, each inhale measured.
"Whose dress is that?" He asked the question before I even stepped in the door.
"Well," I put the hand with the full bottle of wine on my hip and said, "I bought it after Calum and I've only had one date since then."
"It's my dress." His eyes scraped down my body and desire flooded every pore in my body. I was playing with fire. "You've had two dates" He made a point of reminding me. "You had two dates that night."
I held up the half empty bottle of wine and said, "Are you going to invite me in and offer me a glass or am I finishing this here?"
His mouth bent up into a half smile and he stepped back. "Come in, get me drunk, and have your wicked way with me."
I hesitated and me and my partially drunk self shocked us both when I said, "What if I just wanted to fall asleep with my head on your shoulder?"
"That we can do," he said. "Come on Allie, come get me drunk."
Turns out he had a bottle of wine too, that and a couple of coolers and we were lucky I got as far as his bed, let alone home. Colin tossed me one of his shirts and told me to change and I shocked the hell out of him when I asked him to undo the zipper and slid that and my bra off right in front of him. I tried to drag him into bed but he shook his head.
"No baby, I need a shower." He pried my fingers off his shirt and backed his way into the bathroom.
"You can't possibly smell that bad," my drunk self said. Flopping backwards I let my hands fall up above my head and Colin groaned.
"If you're spending the night in my bed dressed like that I need a cold shower or being a gentleman is going to be too hard."
That pulled me out of my drunken haze a little. "Thank you," I said, "that means a lot."
"Don't go anywhere." I watched him undo his buttons as he stepped around the corner. Less than ten minutes later he was cold and damp crawling into bed beside me. "Still with me?"
"Barely." My smile bled into my voice. "You took forever."
"Sorry baby, the image of you stripping down to next to nothing is permanently burned in my brain. That's more than a guy can handle." He pulled me in so I was lying up against his side and pulled my hand up over his heart.
"Should I go?" My question was a whisper on the air between us and as soon as I said it, Colin was shaking his head.
"Please stay. It's been a long time since I shared a bed with someone. I want this." Colin kissed the top of my head. "I want this with you Allie."
I fell asleep wrapped around him feeling better than I had in ages and woke up feeling worse than ever.
"Allie, wake up." The frantic tone in Colin's voice had me sitting up immediately. "You have to go."
"What?!?" There was no processing that this early in the morning. "Are you serious?"
"Calum's coming, he'll ring the buzzer any minute, you have to get dressed." He was tossing my bra and dress to me then he picked up my shoes and motioned for me to hurry.
I didn't say a word, I was too mad, too hurt. Instead I got dressed grabbed my shoes and walked to the door. He tried to stop me and pull me in for a kiss but I put up a hand to stop him
"Not happening buddy. You don't get to throw me out seconds after waking me up and think we're fine. We're so far from fine its in another zip code. Go to hell Colin."
"Allie, wait."
I flipped him the bird just as his buzzer went off. I rode the elevator up in silence and fell back against the apartment door when it closed behind me. Why me? What did I do to deserve this special kind of hell?
I put on a pot of coffee, took a shower, and changed into leggings and my favourite sweater. Then, with my cup of steaming caffeine, I settled down on the couch to assess my life. What the hell was I doing? This was insanity and the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over expecting something different.
This thing with Colin was going no where, I knew it, so why did I open myself up? Why go for drinks? Why go over for dinner? Why stay the night? The answer was simple. He told me he wanted to be with me and I thought that one day he might want to be with me more than he was afraid of what Calum thought.
He didn't, I told my self, he wouldn't and I just needed to get over it. That was easier said than done, I cried for a solid hour then kicked myself out of my pity party, grabbed all my laundry and my bedding and headed down stairs.
My luck just kept getting better, on Colin's floor the door opened and Calum walked in. He acted like nothing had happened between us and flashed one a megawatt smile. Holding the door open he said, "Hi Allie."
Colin's smile fell the second he heard that and a frown formed when he saw me. He got in with a deep breath and pretended not to look at me.
"You're looking good," my ex said.
"Thank you."
"Did you get my flower?" Calum got both of our undivided attention with that.
"What?" my shock was audible and I was suddenly regretting not lighting the flower on fire. "Why did you send me a flower?"
He gave me a sad smile. "I felt bad. Things went south between us. I knew you'd be alone. It was the least I could do."
"You cheated on me, it didn't go south! I don't want anything from you."
"Which is why I didn't send you a note. I wanted to give you something to smile about on Valentine's day." Calum shrugged. "Colin's always telling me I should have treated you better. Figured that was a start."
"You boys shouldn't be talking about me at all, I'm done with your family." The doors opened and me and my bags pushed my way out. "Have a good day gents."
My glorious exit went flat when each brother took a bag from me. "The laundromat is on our way. We'll carry these for you," Colin said softly.
"We'll take these for you and you can join us for breakfast." Calum's confidence made me laugh.
"Not bloody likely," I snapped. I tried to pull my bags away from them, but both brothers held my bags hostage and just started walking.
I maintained my silence, as did Colin, Calum on the other hand kept up a steady stream of conversation. Twice Colin's hand brushed against mine, his fingers curving around to brush against my palm. The second time I wrapped my arms around my chest.
Calum noticed and started to reach for his jacket but before he could pull it off and offer it to me, which I knew he was going to do, Colin's jacket settled on my shoulders. I kept it for no other reason than I didn't want Calum to give me his, a terrible reason I know.
It was hell. The whole trip was hell. A man who cared so little about me he felt there was no issue with him cheating on me on one side, and on the other side a man who didn't care enough to risk up setting his cheating brother. What a tangled web I weave.
At the laundromat I stopped at the door. "OK, you've done your good deed for the day. Thank you. Now move on."
Calum laughed. "You should join us for breakfast Allie, you can't have eaten yet you're like an ornery bear when you're hungry."
I took my bags and struggled with the door which Colin then pulled open for me. "Not going to happen." I snapped at them like an angry turtle and didn't even feel bad about it.
"Alright, catch you later," Calum kept walking and Colin reached out to grab my arm stopping me as I passed through the door.
"I'm sorry," he said, "There's a code between brothers and one of the rules is you don't go after your brother's girl."
I gave him a snort. "I'm not Calum's anything. He decided he didn't want me. I've been thrown aside like two day old leftovers." With a shake of my head I lied out of spite. "It doesn't matter. I have to do my laundry, I need some thing to wear on my date tonight."
Colin stiffened and the hand on my elbow tightened. "What date? You spent the night in my bed when you had a date planned with some other guy?"
"Last night was a mistake." The words hurt to say but it hurt even more to see how hard the hit him.
Colin jerked back like I hit him and hurt filled his eyes. He sucked in a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh. "Who do you have a date with?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Where is he taking you?"
"None of your business."
"I don't believe you. "That comment made me look up from the button I'd been staring at. "You're lying," he said. "You're lying because I hurt you and now you want to hurt me."
"The Fiddle and Peat," I said through clenched teeth. "His name is Ryan, we met through a friend. I'm wearing the black dress."
Colin sucked in a sharp breath. "Anything but the black dress," he said quietly as Calum called out to him. "I don't care if you wear a bikini, just don't wear that dress."
Calum called his name again and he ran off, leaving me feeling like crap and in desperate need of saving. After getting my stuff started, I moved to the quietest corner and dialed a familiar number.
"Hello," Ryan's cheerful voice always made me smile and today was no different.
"Hey Ry, it's Allie how are you?" Leaning back against the wall I prayed this would work.
"Pretty good, just making bruch for a few of the guys, what's up?"
With a deep breath I took a chance. "So funny story, I've gotten into some messed up thing with this guy and it's crashing and burning. I kinda got into a bind when I told him I had a date and when he called me out on the lie and asked me for details I may or may not have dropped your name."
He barked with laughter and I rushed to continue. "You're the only single guy I know." A terrible thought hit me. "You are still single aren't you?"
His voice was filled with laughter. "Yeah, I'm still single. So, where are we going on this make believe date?"
"The Fiddle and Peat."
"Nice, I like it, the've got live music Saturday."
"Look, if you do this I wire you money for dinner so it looks like your paying and I'll buy you fifty bucks worth of beer."
"Wow Al, "he laughed at me. "Now I feel like a cheap escort. How about this... I'll take you out, but there are conditions."
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Name them."
"This is a real date. I pay, I get to walk you home, I get a kiss good night, and you wear red because it's my favourite colour and you look killer in red."
His offer took my breath away. It sounded like he wanted to go out with me. That made me feel good, excited, happy so when he said, "What's the consensus, are we doing this?" my answer was instantaneous.
"I have the perfect dress."
His voice dropped into this deep, sexy rumble. "thats exactly what I want to hear. Meet me at six, baby."
Baby. He'd called me baby. This was crazy.
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